Jearmin After Dark
by Marco'sBetterHalf
Summary: A collection of nightly Jearmin meetings that follow the canon timeline and theme of the story. Warnings for eventual yaoi (and maybe eventual smut? And of course if that happens, the rating will shoot up to M so be prepared). And another warning for a sad ending. (Nothing major, but as I said, the story sticks pretty closely to canon things.) Better explanation inside!


**(A/N:: Hi guys! This is my first fanfiction, so I decided to try something I thought would be kind of cute/cool. In case the summary did a bad job of explaining, let me just word it a little better. This story takes place during the 104th's training days and is basically a collection of the meetings between Jean and Armin that happen at night while the other cadets are asleep. It may not seem like a yaoi fic at first, but I assure you, it will get there. And again, as I would like for this story to stick pretty closely to the canon storyline so that it can easily tie in, the ending will be a little sad (as are most things Attack on Titan-related). Anyway now that I've explained away my future evil doings, please enjoy the story if you still want to read it. :)**

Armin stared at the stretch of ceiling above his bunk and sighed in frustration. He was getting way too well acquainted with the wooden slabs above him. Was a good night's sleep too much to ask for?

He supposed there was no one to blame though. It was him. The training was too much for him. He dreaded it all night, and hated it during the day. Falling from the sky with his maneuver gear in front of everyone was humiliating. And he could've stayed in Shiganshina with his bullies if he'd wanted to get beaten up the way he did in hand to hand combat. Well, maybe not. Shiganshina was full of Titans now.

Armin shuddered and turned over on his side to face Eren. Eren would drive them all out one day. He and Armin both. They had a plan, the two of them - Take back Wall Maria, take back Shiganshina, and then leave these damn walls as quickly as possible and never look back. They'd annihilate any Titan that dared to get in their way, together.

Armin knew deep down that it was a silly dream, more on his part than Eren's. After all, Eren could probably make a difference someday. He was strong, focused, determined. Armin on the other hand was small, weak and timid. He hated himself for those reasons. Why couldn't he be more like Eren?

He sighed and shook his head to clear it of the negative thoughts. As if that would work. Lying here in his bunk every night had proven to be an invitation for fear and anxiety to invade his mind.

As he closed his eyes in yet another attempt to fall asleep, he was overwhelmed with images of them. Titans - the creatures he knew would be the source of his ultimate demise. It wasn't a question of whether or not Armin would die. The question was how he would go - Eaten? Crushed? Ripped apart?

Armin gasped for air as his body shot up into a sitting position. He rested his face in his hands and groaned in frustration. Honestly, they were only three months into training and he was already falling apart! He was pathetic.

Again, he instinctively looked over at Eren who was still sleeping soundly as ever. Armin envied him in that he could fall asleep so effortlessly at night, as if there wasn't a deeply rooted rage constantly bubbling within him. How in God's name did he do it? Set aside all the things bothering him and manage to get a good night's sleep?

At this thought, Armin actually smiled. He guessed it was just one of the many amazing things about Eren. He had a passion that burned like fire and unparalleled sleeping abilities.

Armin contemplated crawling over into Eren's bunk to snuggle up to him. Sometimes it helped. Most nights when he was younger, Armin would crawl into bed with his grandpa, not because he'd had a nightmare or anything - okay, sometimes because he'd had nightmares - but usually because he just wanted someone to snuggle with. His grandpa always loved when Armin came to him for midnight snuggles and, so far, it seemed like Eren did too. Usually when he woke up the next morning, Eren would either have one arm draped over him or both arms wrapped tightly around him, clinging to him like their lives depended on it.

Armin thought back on when Shadis had demanded either he or Eren switch bunks with someone else to prevent this from happening anymore. Eren had lied and said that he sometimes had panic attacks during the night and that only Armin knew how to talk him through it, and that the mornings they woke up in the same bed always followed the nights when Armin would have to lay with him keeping an eye on him until eventually they'd both fall asleep. His lie had worked. Shadis even seemed to pity Eren, and Armin was impressed.

Afterwards, Armin had told Eren that the lie wasn't necessary and that he would've been okay if he didn't have the option to crawl over into Eren's side of the bed anymore. But Eren had quickly made it clear that it most certainly _was_ necessary. That he didn't want Armin sharing a bunk with "any of these other horny bastards." Armin had felt his heart swell at Eren's over protectiveness of him. He'd never admit it out loud of course, but Eren's love for him was all he felt he had left most days. That and his desire to see what was beyond the walls before he died.

Armin glanced around the room at the soundly sleeping and loudly snoring bodies surrounding him. He'd blame his insomnia on them if he didn't know better. It was his anxiety and restless mind that kept him from sleeping - as well as his fear of rolling off the top bunk and falling all those feet to the floor. That would be embarrassing. And painful. Maybe he should talk to Eren about letting him sleep on the side next to the wall. The brunet would definitely be willing. That was where he'd originally wanted Armin to sleep anyway to keep him out of reach of "all these other horny bastards". The only reason he let Armin sleep on the outside bunk was because the blonde had a tendency to get up and go to the bathroom three or four times a night. Of course, the only reason he had to go so often was because he could only lie in bed wide awake and staring at the ceiling for so long before desperation for a change of scenery took over and he had to leave the room, if only to see the bathroom instead. It might not have been much of a visual improvement, but it kept him from suffocating himself with his own pillow.

Just as Armin was about to lie back down for another failed attempt at sleeping, he heard a loud whisper from the darkness.

"Hey," it said, startling the blonde and causing him to lean over the edge of his bed, looking left and right to try and scope out the source of the voice.

"Over here," it came again from his left.

Armin quickly looked to his left and found that Jean was sitting upright in one of the bottom bunks on the wall adjacent to his. Uh-oh. What could he possibly want? He and Armin hadn't said ten words to each other in the three months that they'd been here.

"What is it?" Armin whispered nervously.

Jean tilted his head back in a beckoning motion. "Come here."

This caught Armin off guard. Honestly what could Jean possibly want from him? The only way they were even associated with each other was through Eren, so it was easy enough to assume that Jean didn't have the best impression of Armin. Armin certainly didn't have a good impression of him.

Without another word, the blonde quickly shook his head. No way was he putting himself in a position like that. He had learned over the years to steer clear of people who may want to hurt him.

"Oh, for the love of God," Jean said as if he'd read Armin's mind. "I'm not going to hurt you."

 _Yeah right_ , Armin thought. _I've heard that lie a thousand times._

Almost instinctively, he glanced back over his shoulder at Eren, as if to make sure he was still there.

Sure enough, the brunet was lightly snoring and had turned over to face the wall. Armin smiled before remembering his current situation. He quickly turned back toward Jean to try and reason. " _You_ , come over _here_ ," he said.

Jean huffed and visibly rolled his eyes before throwing back his blanket, making his way over to Armin's bunk and climbing a few steps up the ladder to get them close enough to eye level.

The brunet glanced down at Eren and scoffed. "Scared to leave your security blanket, huh?"

Armin's nervous expression turned to a piercing glare instantly. "What do you want?" he asked.

"Jeez," Jean replied. "Why the hostility? I thought you were the nice one. Don't tell me you're just like Jaeger?"

Armin's expression fell, and he suddenly felt bad. Maybe Jean didn't mean any harm after all.

"Sorry," the blonde mumbled. "What did you need?"

Resting his elbows on Armin's bed, Jean shrugged. "I just saw you couldn't sleep either and wondered if you might want to talk."

Armin shot him a skeptical look. "We've been living together for three months and you've never once thought to talk to me before. Why now?"

Jean chucked at this. "Touché. But I've noticed over the past couple of nights that you can't seem to sleep. And since I can't either, I thought maybe we could get to know each other."

Armin tilted his head in confusion. "And you think now is the best time for that? Aren't you worried we'll wake everyone up?"

"Well we haven't yet," Jean said, gesturing around the room at the other still loudly snoring boys.

After a moment of contemplation, Armin accepted that there really was no good argument. "True enough," he said, pushing back his blankets and following Jean down the ladder and back to the brunet's bunk.

As Jean took his spot at the head of the bed, Armin took a seat at the foot but quickly found that it put too much space between them.

Blushing, he scooted forward until he was sitting in the middle of the bed.

Jean suppressed a laugh at Armin's awkward behavior. "Why are you so nervous?" he asked.

"Experience has taught me to be," Armin mumbled. "So what did you want to talk about?"

Jean shrugged. "Anything really to get my mind off of training."

Armin tried not to get too excited over the fact that they just may have something in common after all. "You hate training too?" he asked.

"Well, I don't know if I'd say I hate it," Jean started, but when he noticed Armin's shoulders slump a little in disappointment, he quickly continued. "B-but if I could skip it altogether, I definitely would!"

"You would?" Armin asked. "Why?"

Jean rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Isn't it obvious? I'm great at everything already."

Armin's eyelids instantly drooped in disinterest at what he was hearing.

"I mean," Jean thought for a moment for a better way to phrase what he was trying to say. "The training isn't really teaching me anything I don't already know. Sure, I've never really had to fight before, but I've always been strong enough to, if the need presented itself. The maneuver gear is second nature to me. We're only three months in, and already I've nearly mastered it." He grinned widely at Armin. "I'm like a God when it comes to this stuff."

Armin continued shooting Jean his most condescending stare. "Well praise be unto you," he said, his voice monotonous.

Jean sighed. "Okay, I actually did have a question for you."

"What's that?" Armin asked, glancing through the corner of his eye back at his bunk, which he was already starting to miss.

"Why are you here?"

The question caught Armin off guard, causing him to refocus his attention fully on Jean. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said," Jean replied stubbornly. "Why is someone like you here?"

"Someone like me?!" Armin said a little too loudly, causing a sleeping Marco to stir in the bunk next to them before rolling over to face the wall.

Still angry, but not wanting to wake Marco or anyone else for that matter, Armin lowered his voice. "What do you mean 'someone like me'?" He said the last few words as if they tasted disgusting on his tongue.

Jean sighed, running a hand through his stupid hair. "Okay, look I didn't mean it like that. It's just -" He paused, surprisingly intimidated by the little blonde's death glare. "I just meant that you're not exactly cut out for this kind of thing." Before Armin could respond, he quickly added, "And don't get mad. Because you know it's true. It's just," he paused, once again trying to choose his words wisely. "You had to have known before you came here that this wasn't going to work out."

"So, what?" Armin retorted, feeling progressively more irritable with every unintelligent string of bullshit that Jean was spewing. "You're saying I can't do this?"

"Just being honest, man," Jean said, leaning back against his pillow. "I'll be really surprised and impressed if you make it to graduation."

"Hmph." Armin grunted indignantly. "So I guess it's safe to say that fortune telling isn't one of the mighty Lord Jean's incredible talents."

Jean chuckled at this. "Please, Armin," he said, sitting up straight. "Just call me Jean. Only those unfortunate enough not to know me personally should have to call me by my full title." The arrogance in voice was fake, meant as a joke, maybe even light sarcasm but it pissed Armin off nonetheless.

"Unfortunate, huh?" Armin said, leaning back on his hands. "Poor things. They'll never know what it's like to bask in the glory of your acquaintanceship."

Jean chuckled again. "Okay, maybe the God thing was a little over the top, I'll admit. Regardless, though, I still don't think I need all this training."

"Yeah, me either," Armin said, closing his eyes and sticking his nose in the air, feigning the same arrogance Jean had only a moment ago. "I mean clearly I should be out leading my own squad right now with all my incredible skills and badassery."

"Hah," Jean said - a clearly forced laugh if there ever was one. "You? A squad leader? You've _got_ to be joking. You won't last ten seconds as a soldier if you do manage to graduate."

"And _you_ won't last ten more seconds as a cadet when Shadis overhears you and your cocky attitude one of these days," Armin retorted. "You think you don't need to go through this training like the rest of us? That just goes to show how stupid you are." He glared at Jean before standing up from the bed. "Oh," he continued, now looking down at the brunet. "And to answer your question as to why I enlisted, it's not like I had a ton of options to choose from. It was either this or pull weeds for the rest of my life."

Jean's expression wasn't cocky anymore. Now it was one of genuine confusion - or well-faked confusion. "And you don't think pulling weeds would be more suitable for you?" he asked.

Armin scoffed in disbelief at his nerve. "Screw you," he said, turning to walk back toward his bunk. Before he could take even one step though, Jean caught him by the wrist.

"Wait," he said, pulling Armin hard so that the little blonde fell back onto the bed, only a few inches from Jean this time. "I asked because I really am curious. You would rather do this? Something you despise so much? Something you have anxiety over so bad that you can't even sleep at night?"

Armin sighed, pulling his wrist away from Jean and rubbing it to ease the pain that was now radiating from it. "It wasn't so much day to day life that I was thinking about when I made that decision," he said. "Before my life is over, I want to make a difference somehow."

Jean stared at him for a moment, no sign of spite in his expression even as he uttered his next words. "You can't."

Armin gasped, somehow still capable of being shocked by the things Jean said.

"Armin," Jean said his name with impatience as if he was trying to explain something extremely complex to a three-year-old. "You're not cut out for this. I'm trying to tell you it's not going to work. Assuming you make it to graduation, you'll die in no time at all. You're weak. You're uncoordinated. Hell, you can barely walk in a straight line without tripping over your own feet! You can't maneuver a 3DMG to save your life, and that's unfortunate considering that's exactly what you'll need to do if we ever face those things."

Armin couldn't believe it. For the first time in his life, he was absolutely speechless.

Jean sighed. "Your intelligence is the only thing you've got going for you, and no offense, but you're going to need more than that when you come face to face with one of those things. I mean honestly, if you saw one right in front of you, close enough to pick you up and eat you, would you even be able to move?"

Armin's eyes were wide, and though there were currently no tears in them, Jean could see that they were coming by the way the little blonde was trembling.

"Why did I even come over here?" Armin whispered, though Jean wasn't sure if the question was directed at him or if Armin was talking to himself. His blue eyes were still wide, not really focused on anything as he stood up again to leave.

Instantly, Jean started to feel bad. He hadn't meant to make the kid cry. He was telling him this for his own good. Armin followed Jaeger around like a love struck puppy, and that suicidal bastard was going to lead the person he _called_ his best friend right into the jaws of a Titan. It was messed up!

If Jean didn't open Armin's eyes to it then who would? Mikasa? Of course not. She was too focused on Jaeger to care about what happened to Armin, right? Come to think of it, Jean wondered why he cared what happened to Armin. He shook his head quickly in an attempt to clear up his jumbled thoughts. He didn't care what happened to Armin specifically. He just didn't want to see some poor kid die because they spent their life following in the footsteps of someone they loved until one day they followed those footsteps right off the edge of a cliff. Armin wasn't important, but Jaeger sure as hell didn't deserve to have someone as kind and smart as him for a best friend.

Jean's thoughts were halted when he heard rattled breathing coming from the blonde who still hadn't taken the first step away from his bunk. He looked up to see that Armin now had tears flowing freely down his pink tinted cheeks.

"I thought maybe Eren was wrong about you," he said, trying to keep his voice even. "that maybe you weren't such a bad guy after all. I thought that maybe giving you a chance might even be worth Eren getting mad at me if he found out. But I was _very_ wrong." Armin's voice caught in his throat, and he had to take a moment to collect himself before speaking again. "So it turns out you were wrong too, Jean. I don't even intelligence going for me."

Jean couldn't speak, couldn't find the words to say to the boy he'd just verbally abused to the brink of an emotional meltdown.

"I hate you," Armin whispered, catching Jean of guard for the first time. "Don't ever talk to me again." On that note, Armin spun around and was back to his bunk in a few quick strides. Jean watched as he made his way up the ladder with practiced ease, stopping only to wipe his eyes with the back of his arm. When he laid down, he pulled his blanket completely over his head.

After a moment of collecting himself, Jean growled before laying down and pulling his blanket up to his ears. Stupid kid. He really hadn't meant to make him cry! Leave it to Jaeger to have a spoiled, bratty little smartass for a best friend. He wasn't sure how, but he just knew that this had to be Eren's fault. He'd probably protected and babied Armin all their lives, and now the kid couldn't even handle hearing the simple truth about himself. Still, Jean couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt twisting in his chest as he closed his eyes and tried to pretend he couldn't hear the muffled sobs coming from Armin's bunk. Sleep wasn't going to come easily tonight either.

 **(A/N: Well, if you actually finished chapter one then I applaud you for having the patience to bear with me through it, and I also really do hope you enjoyed it. I'm very open to feedback, good or bad. And it would be greatly appreciated. I promise not all chapters will be nearly this long, though I will try to make sure they are long enough to be worth reading. :) Thanks again for giving my little story a shot and please let me know what you think.)**


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